DataDyne Revived
by French Pop
Summary: Updates: Chapter 4 is up! A story about what happens when Cassandra hires new security! A must-read! Check out the "Burgandy Carpet" also (included in here)! Please review!
1. Chapter 1: Defeated Again

Disclaimer: Now if you really need this just to determine what characters I don't own? Then you're just a dumbass! Well anyway, I don't own any of the mentioned copyrighted characters.   
  
About the Story: After numerous defeats, (by the way, Me. Blonde and "company" will not be mentioned in this story but takes place after Joanna goes on her first mission so improvise a little!) by the Carrington Institute, "old Cassie" decides to make some changes to the DataDyne Corp. Please read, review, and enjoy the story.  
  
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Chapter 1: Defeated Again  
  
(Joanna is making her escape with one of DataDynes top secret gadgets to bring back to the Institute. She's running up the stairs where the Jumpship awaits.)  
  
Joanna: (panting and cackling kind of maniacally) Once again old woman, I have retrieved one of DataDyne's top secret experimental technologies! (jumps into the ship)  
  
Cassandra: (pointing to her male and female guards) What are you doing?! Attack!!  
  
(the male guards leap from the helipad and hang off the edge of the CI Jumpship. The Jumpship flies away into "Hover-car" traffic and the guards fall off)  
  
Guards: AHHHH!  
  
0  
  
Female Guard #1: Men, what idiots…  
  
Cassandra: (gritting teeth) YOU'RE the idiots! Each and every time that. . .GIRL sneaks in here, she gets away with one of our valuable things! Do you know what this is doing to me?!  
  
Female Guard #2: No, not exactly. . .Have you considered therapy, Ms. De Vries?  
  
Cassandra: The Shotgun. . .  
  
F.G. #2: . . . .?  
  
Cassandra: Are you deaf?! I said gimme the bloody Shotgun!!  
  
F.G.#2: Uhhh, okay?  
  
Cassandra: (smiles and takes the Shotgun) Thank you. . . (whacks F.G.#2 with the gun) To hell with therapy!  
  
F.G. #1: Ms. De Vries? Was that really-  
  
Cassandra: Before you say anything, you're fired!!  
  
F.G. #1: . . . .! Well!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(In Cassandra's office, she paces the floor while her loyal assistant Anne (the "don't shoot me" girl in 1st level) is typing on the terminal at her desk)  
  
Cassandra: I think I may need to tighten security a little…What do you think Anne?  
  
Anne: (who was actually playing Spider Solitaire) Yes, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: We should send out fliers for new men…  
  
Anne: Right, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: But why men? I could use some more female guards after the whole "blackout" incident. Plus, females are very strong and powerful creatures!  
  
Anne: Sure, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: (pauses, then eyes Anne) So, Anne, do you think I should fire you?  
  
Anne: Of course, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: Then, killing you and leaving your body in the Sahara Desert for the buzzards?  
  
Anne: Yes, Ms- Wait a minute?! You're gonna fire me?!  
  
Cassandra: I'm glad to finally have your undivided attention!!  
  
Anne: (smiles) Uh. . .You're welcome?  
  
Cassandra: Anyways, the guards I had before were too…wimpy, shall I say; and not to mention very bulimic-looking as well. My guards must have meat! Put that as a requirement!  
  
Anne: Ok. . .  
  
Cassandra: Now, another thing. . .(glances up to the DataDyne logo on the computer screen) Two D's? I've got it! Every female guard should have a double D cup size!  
  
Anne: What? What kind of requirement is that, Ms. De Vries?  
  
Cassandra: So if that Dark girl aims for the chest, they won't be impaled by the bullet!  
  
Anne: (mumbles) Whatever. . .  
  
~End Chapter 1  
  
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And that's Chapter 1!  
  
Pretty strange, huh? Well next chapter, De Vries makes up more crap for the "hire-flyer" ^__^ and then posts them on the poles! Other stuff happens but you'll find out! As soon as I write it…Thank you and please review!  
  
Mzcheex@yahoo.com 


	2. Chapter 2: Plants 4 Hire!

Last Time On DDR: Well, this is just for those of you who like to skip the first chapters and try to guess the plot, or if you've already read the story but can't quite remember what it was about here it is. . . Joanna once again steals things for the Carrington Institute and Cassandra is just pissed off about it. She thinks that the problem with the Corp. is that her security sucks (and she might not be that far off), so she and her secretary Anne, are making "hire fliers". Haha. . ."Hire Fliers". . .  
  
Misc. notes: I uploaded a more grammatically correct version of the last chapter (it doesn't except "triple periods in a row" and the "less-than, greater-than" signs.), and I got some reviews! Like it (should've) said in the summary, the next chapters will depend on the reviews! I'm glad some people liked it thought. But you wanna read a REAL good PD fic? Check out "Perfect Kids" it's just adorable!!   
  
~Mz/Chx  
  
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Chapter 2: "Plants for hire!" (inside joke ^__^)  
  
Cassandra: Now where were we?  
  
Anne: Something about requirements, Ms. De Vries?  
  
Cassandra: Right, right. . . Well, of course the nit-wits must have some prior training in firearms. . .  
  
Anne: (snicker)  
  
Cassandra: (stares) And, they must be free of any physical diseases, STD's, and any mental, or psychological illnesses (you know, like schizophrenia).   
  
Anne: (laughs)  
  
Cassandra: What the devil is so funny?!  
  
Anne: Ah. . .Nothing, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: I mean, I'm trying to hire guards, not RETARDS. . .Another thing, they must be able to demand respect from the male guards.  
  
Anne: And how is that an important quality, Ms. De Vries?  
  
Cassandra: How is that an important quality, you ask? This is very important because, do you know what I saw one time while I was in the basement laboratory?  
  
Anne: (snicker) No, what did you see?  
  
Cassandra: (whispers harshly) I saw, a trampy female guard. . .  
  
Anne: (who was suddenly interested) Yes, yes, go on. . .  
  
Cassandra: (makes a choking noise and a pucker face) Ack! Ack!  
  
Anne: (clasps hands over her mouth): Oh my. . .  
  
Cassandra: Yes! I had her shot on the spot!  
  
Anne: Oh. . .That's great, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: Now, you should have that finished, Anne, print it out and lets see it.  
  
Anne: P-print it out? You mean now?   
  
Cassandra: No, I mean later when it's far more convenient for you.  
  
Anne: (sighs in relief) Oh. . .  
  
Cassandra: You dunce! Of course I mean now!  
  
Anne: Um, wouldn't you rather see it tomorrow, Ms. De Vries, I mean it's really late, and. . .  
  
Cassandra (pounds her hands on the desk and glares at Anne): You haven't been working on it at all have you?!  
  
Anne: And if I say no. . .?  
  
Cassandra (raises her hand to slap but then puts it down and sigh in frustration): Anne, I swear, if you weren't my favorite cousin. . .  
  
Anne: I'm your favorite? *thinking: You'd think she'd give me a better job though. . .*  
  
Cassandra: Yes, you are and if you ever tell anyone I'll have your neck! (pretends to wring someone's neck)  
  
Anne: Oh, okay favorite cousin! Cheerio! (assuming that most of the characters are of English/British origin)  
  
Cassandra: Hmmm, I need these guards in a hurry so take this. (reaches in her pocket and pulls out a CD-Rom, she tosses it to Anne).  
  
Anne: (reads the CD) Printmaster Gold?  
  
Cassandra: Yes, the perfect choice for the job, right?  
  
Anne: (snicker) Alright, cousin Cassie!  
  
Cassandra: Anne!  
  
~End Chapter 2  
  
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Well, that was a little longer. In the next chapter, I plan to have more dialogue other than just Cass and Anne but a reviewer thought it was pretty funny! I like Anne. She's normal, yet nutty. I kept wanting to call her Susan or something like that but it was "taken".  
  
Next Time: Cassandra and Anne post the fliers all throughout. . .uh, wherever region they live in. . . yeah. . .This is gonna be great so keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Notes: Oh, and about the whole disease and retard thing, it was not meant to offend anyone! Really, so in your review, don't flame me about this! Also, about the "chokey-chokey", for people who do that in the open such as the guard mentioned, then that's your problem.  
  
Mzcheex@yahoo.com 


	3. Chapter 3: Elimination!

Last Time On DDR: Cassandra talks more crap and Anne is AGAIN not paying any attention. We just revealed that the 2 are related (they do look a TAD alike, right?)! Awesome! Hey, I like the sound of that! Awesome. . .AWWWWWWSOME!! Oh, *ahem*. Anyways, the flier is finally finished and we get to meet some of the potential employees.  
  
Misc. Notes: Oh yeah, if you're wondering why you're reviews are no longer here, it's because I sort of "started over". I tried to correct the first chapter then it went doofy on me so I "started over". If you can remember what you wrote (oh yeah, your reviews HAVE been sent to my email address so, lemme know if you want em'), then please "re-post", it'll make me feel a LOT better! ~__^  
  
Mz/Chx  
  
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Chapter 3: Elimination!  
  
(the next morning at the Lucerne Tower, Cassandra sits impatiently at her chair trying to solve a crossword puzzle)  
  
Cassandra: Hmm, not a lime but a. . .  
  
(Anne bursts through the door and startles Cassandra)  
  
Anne: (waving some papers) I did it, Ms. De Vries! I got them! I got them!  
  
Cassandra: Anne! What did I tell you about barging into my office like that?!  
  
Anne:(thinking) Um, I believe you said. . .Don't do it?  
  
Cassandra: (claps sarcastically) Right! Now re-enter in a proper manner!  
  
Anne: (sighs, rolls her eyes and mutters): She's been that way ever since we were children. . .  
  
(knock, knock)  
  
Cassandra: (sing-song) Who is it?  
  
Anne: (mocking sing-song) It's Anne, Ms. De Vries, your office slave, here with the fliers!  
  
Cassandra: Now why didn't you say so, do come in!  
  
Anne: (shouting) That had absolutely NO MEANING whatsoever!  
  
Cassandra: (ignoring what Anne just said) You said you had the fliers?  
  
Anne: Oh yes, here you are (hands her the fliers), that Printmaster Gold you lent to me, really helped!  
  
(for your own convinience, here's the flier!)  
  
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Help Wanted!  
  
Do you love to shoot things? Why not get paid a lot for it! Lounge around in the exclusive and luxurious DataDyne Lucerne Tower and shoot anyone who doesn't work there! BUT, to be qualified, you must meet the following standards.  
  
*Females only!  
  
*All employees must have prior training in firearms (guns)  
  
*All employees must have a minimum bust-size of DD.  
  
*All employees must not have and mental, psychological, or physical diseases.  
  
*All employees must be able to follow directions, the first time given.  
  
*All employees must have some leadership skills  
  
(blah blah blah. . .end flier)  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Anne: (grinning) So, what do you think?  
  
(the stack of papers is thrown in Anne's face)  
  
Anne: Hey! You could've given me a paper-cut!  
  
Cassandra: Oh, boo-hoo! And what the hell kind of fliers are these?! "Lounge around in the exclusive and luxurious DataDyne Lucerne Tower?" and who said I was going to pay them a lot?  
  
Anne: (sniff) Oh, sorry Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: But I'll accept it.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
(in one of the rooms on the 3rd/4th floor of the Lucerne Tower, there are about 50 different women who have answered to the flier. Cassandra stands at a podium holding a black mega-phone)  
  
Cassandra: Hello? Ladies?  
  
(the ladies continue to talk)  
  
Cassandra: Excuse me! We need to start the meeting. . .  
  
(chatter. . .chatter. . .)  
  
(Cassandra makes the piercing feedback noise with the mega-phone, which gets everyone's attention)  
  
Cassandra: Thank you. Now I see why you all are here. . .  
  
Female #1: I heard there was going to be food here!  
  
Cassandra: No.  
  
(the female and 3 others leave the room, disappointed)  
  
Cassandra: Okay, let's make this quick. I'm hoping to hire some of you to be my personal bodyguards so anyone who isn't willing to lay their life on the line for me, please make your way to the nearest exit.  
  
(15 people leave)  
  
Cassandra: Anne.  
  
Anne: Oh yes, right. (gives the remaining group of girls a small plastic bag with some clothes in it)  
  
(the females murmur in curiosity)  
  
Cassandra: Go ahead and open it, for these are your uniforms! I will leave you here to change. Those who can successfully manage to squeeze and fit these outfits can wait outside my office. (leaves)  
  
Female #2: What a cute outfit!  
  
Female #3: This is like suicide! There's no way I can get into this!  
  
Female #4: Forget the job, I'm gon' wear this to da club tonite! (stuffs the uniform in her purse)  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(about 1 hour later, only 17 women are waiting outside Cassandra's office. Anne sits at the nearby desk, surfing the net)  
  
Anne: Aww, I like you too MaianMan69. (giggles)  
  
(Cassandra's voice is heard over the intercom on the table)  
  
Cassandra On Intercom: Anne, please send in one of the women.  
  
Anne: Ah. . .(reads a piece of paper) Number 1, you're up!  
  
FM #1: (not the one that left) Hmm, I hopes I gets hired!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(the first victim sits in a swivel chair)  
  
Cassandra: So, tell me about yourself um. . ."Bella Trunchanella".  
  
Bella: (who's by the way, a redneck) Well, I's love to shoot thangs and I workin' on gettin' my 6th grade edamacation! (smiles with missing and black teeth)  
  
Cassandra: Right, now what do you think of Joanna Dark?  
  
Bella: I done not know 'bout no Joanna but I's dislike them Darkies! Did I tell you that I love's mullets?  
  
Cassandra: Hmm, so you're a Redneck who's still in elementary school, dislikes african-american people, but has a soft side for mullets. . .What experience do you have with guns?  
  
Bella: Shoooot, I remember I done blowed off a dur's (deer) head off with m' shotgun! And my accuracy is pretty durn good!  
  
Cassandra: We'll call you! (presses a button)  
  
(Bella falls down a chute)  
  
Cassandra On Intercom: Next!  
  
~End Chapter 3  
  
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Ha! I liked writing this one! As for the flier (by the way, am I spelling *flier* right?) , of course it's crappy. Sounds more like an advertisement for a clubhouse to me. Anyway, I thought it was funny. About the whole "country Red Neck" thing. I'm not 100% sure if they dislike black people but I have heard rumors. Still, no offense to those who are. Please review/email me, okay?  
  
MzCheex@yahoo.com 


	4. Intermission & The Burgandy Carpet

*Intermission!!*  
  
If you're one of those people who likes to sit and read all the chapters at once, well now's your chance to take a break. Rub your eyes, make a sandwich, take a shit, or whatever now hurry the hell up!  
  
Or, if you're one of those people who doesn't like to take the breaks offered to them, then you can either read this little spoof (that has nothing to do with the story) or continue.  
  
~Mz/Chx - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Perfect Spoof #1: The Burgandy Carpet  
  
Mz/Chx: (holding a Mircophone and talking to the camera-dude behind her) Hello everyone! I'm here outside the world premiere of the long-awaited, Perfect Dark Movie! We're now waiting for the fancy stretch limos to pull up so people can fight for photos and autographs!  
  
(A navy-blue hover-limo floats down from traffic. The Carrington Institute logo can be seen on the hood of the car.)  
  
Mz/Chx: Oh my God! Can it be?  
  
(Joanna steps out wearing a long sky-blue gown, with blue, transparent Cinderella-type, shoes. She also has on forearm-length sky-blue gloves, adorned with sequins and glitter)  
  
Mz/Chx: It's Joanna Dark!  
  
(the crowd goes wild as she gracefully struts down the burgandy carpet)  
  
Joanna: Wow, Elvis is right! This dress really has a "hypnotic" tint to it! (blows kisses to her fans)  
  
(Daniel Carrington steps out *wearing the same tacky tuxedo as seen in Carrington Institute: Defense* and walks down the carpet followed by Jonathan who was wearing a black tuxedo)  
  
Fan #1: Joanna, can I have your autograph?  
  
Fan #2: Joanna, can I have a lock of your amber-brown hair?  
  
Fan #3: (perverted) Joanna, can I have your virginity?  
  
Joanna: (punches the freaky fan in his jaw) . . .!  
  
Fan #3: I. . .I just got punched by THE Joanna Dark! I'm going to cut the skin around my bruise and sell the scab on eBay!  
  
Mz/Chx: (shouting) Joanna! Joanna, over here! A word with the lovely Miss Dark, if you will!  
  
Joanna: (walks over) Hello there! And who might you be?  
  
Mz/Chx: Hi, I'm Miss Cheex and you are now live on. . .  
  
Joanna: "Miss Cheex"? Now, surely that isn't your real name, is it?  
  
Mz/Chx: Of course not, my real name is. . .(a hovercar flies overhead drowning out Mz/Chx) But, my second identity is Mz/Chx.  
  
Joanna: O__o. . . Okay now what can I do for you Mz/Chx? (gasp) Is that a camera? Am I on the telly?! (starry eyed)  
  
Mz/Chx: Yes, you're on the telly. . .I mean TV. See, I'm in the fanfiction.net crew as the reporter. I go to famous events like these all the time.  
  
Joanna: Oh, that's just darling! (pats Mz/Chx on the head) Can I say hi to my mother and sis?  
  
Mz/Chx: Uh, yeah. . .Sure!  
  
Joanna: (waves to the camera) Hiya mum! Velvie! It's me, Jo! I'm on the telly! Um, Mz/Chx. . .It was very nice to meet you, but I need to get to the premiere. . .(shakes Mz/Chx's hand)  
  
Mz/Chx: Wait, wait! Could you please sign my Perfect Dark game cartridge?  
  
Joanna: I don't see why not! Do you have it? (takes out a pen)  
  
Mz/Chx: Of course! It's right here in my pocket! (shuffles around for the cartridge)  
  
Joanna: Could you please go a little faster?  
  
Mz/Chx: I know it's in here somewhere. . .  
  
Joanna: I-I really, really must go. . .  
  
Mz/Chx: Wait! Don't go! I know I have it! Please! (continues looking for the cartridge)  
  
Jonathan: (pushes Joanna by the butt) C'mon, Jo. We have a movie to see!  
  
Mz/Chx: (ghetto-mode) Excuse you! I was tryin' to get my autograph from Miss Joanna Dark! You ain't hafta push her like that!  
  
Jonathan: (mocking ghetto-mode) Well, don't blame me if you lost your stank little cartridge but we can't just stop the show. Okaaaaaaay? (walks away)  
  
Mz/Chx: (gasps) W-what? Did he?  
  
~End Perfect Spoof #1 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This could possibly turn into another great fanfiction! What do you think? Well, if people like this, then I'll post another Spoof!  
  
And now back to the story. . . 


	5. Chapter 4: Next Victim!

Last Time On DDR: There are only 17. . .um, wait aminute. . .16 women left for the audition. Cassandra is already frustrated. Oh well, let's read about the antics!  
  
Misc Notes: Did you know that there is a "real" Joanna Dark? Check it out at detstar.com! They have the coolest Perfect Dark stuff y'know. A,d I got a great review on the "Burgandy Carpet" Story so I'm going to include a chapter of that after every 2 DDR Stories! Yay! In case you haven't read it because you were to thirsty to get to this chapter, it's about me, a reporter representing fanfiction.net at the "burgandy carpet" of the Perfect Dark Movie, Primiere! Very funny and cute!  
  
Notes About Me: Um, if you were wondering "Who is this Mz/Chx girl" check out my bio page because I just wrote it! Um, my momma just burned me a Chingy CD and I'm typing to "Right Thurr"! I think I should turn it off because I'm losing concentration.   
  
Mz/Chx  
  
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Chapter 4: Next Victim!  
  
Cassandra On Intercom: NEXT!  
  
Anne: Number 2, try your luck!  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
*victim 2*  
  
Cassandra: So, do you have any expierience in hand to hand/gun to gun combat?  
  
V#2: Weapons? Where I come from, weapons are just tools being used to cause destruction to Mother Earth. . .  
  
Cassandra: (presses button) NEXT!  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
*victim 7*  
  
Cassandra: Now, what do you think of Joanna Dark?  
  
V#7: Joanna Dark?! Like, oh my God, she is like, the COOLEST! The way she's always running around like bang, bang, bang! And---  
  
Cassandra: (presses button) NEXT!  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
*victim 10*  
  
Cassandra: Now, do you have any phobias or fears?  
  
V#10: Um, I have a fear of heights, elevators, escalators, long stair cases, and most of all, DEATH.  
  
Cassandra: (presses button) NEXT!  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
*victim 13*  
  
Cassandra: You look awfully young, are you sure you're supposed to be here?  
  
V#13: Yes, I am! Could I interest you in any Girl Scout "Aloha" Cookies, ma'am?  
  
Cassandra: (folds hands) Although I admire your courtesy towards your elders, I'm afraid that you're far too young to risk getting killed in this job field. Plus, I despise Alohas!  
  
V#13: Well that's okay. (her voice changes as to be possessed by Satan. she grabs Cassandra by the collar) YOU DON'T LIKE ALOHAS, HUH? LISTEN BITCH, I TRY TO MAKE A DECENT LIVING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT IT'S JUST ASSHOLES LIKE YOU THAT TRY TO GIVE ME A HARD TIME!!!  
  
Cassandra: (who is rather pale and scared) SECURITY!!!  
  
(2 DataDyne Infantrty guards burst through the doors and haul the demonic GS girl out the office)  
  
V#13: I'll get you for not buying my cookies! CASSANDRA De VRIES!!!  
  
(the doors shut)  
  
Cassandra: Oh. . .My. . .God. . .*I think I may need a change of panties* NEXT!!  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
*victim 16, the last one*  
  
Cassandra: So, um. . .Ms. Sassy Vixxen, please tell me a little about yourself.  
  
Sassy: Well, I've graduated from Harvard University with a Master's Degree, I have social, language, leadership and culinary skills. In high school I was Homecoming Queen, Prom Queen, Conflict Mediator Club President. . .  
  
Cassandra: (raises an eyebrow out of surprise) Yes, yes, next question. Do you have any expirience with guns?  
  
Sassy: Oh yes, I must compliment your brilliant scientists on the weapons they've created. I'm especially good with the K7-Avenger and the Shotgun.  
  
Cassandra (starting to show signs of happiness): Now, Sassy, what made you want to join the DataDyne Corporation?  
  
Sassy: Um, for one, I believe that I needed a thrill in my life. An adrenaline rush. I like to take chances. Plus, I could really use the money.  
  
Cassandra: Anything else?  
  
Sassy: And, I'd like to prove that even voloptuous, curvy, sexy women such as myself, can still kick ass, Ms. De Vries.  
  
Cassandra: Hmmm, so what do you think of Joanna Dark?  
  
Sassy: Oh, I love Joanna Dark. . .  
  
Cassandra: (reaches for the button) Sigh. . .  
  
Sassy: As much as I'd like thorns piercing every nerve of my body!!  
  
Cassandra: (smiles) Great Answer! Congratulations! You're hired!  
  
Sassy: (shakes Ms. De Vries hand) Oh, Thank You so much, Ms. De Vries!  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
(later that night in Cassandra's office)  
  
Anne: You're in a good mood, what are you so happy about?  
  
Cassandra: I just found the perfect guard, that's what!  
  
Anne: Pfft! What's so "perfect" about her?  
  
Cassandra: She's amazing! She's smart, she can shoot, and she hates Joanna Dark! Just like me!  
  
Anne: So. . .I hate Joanna Dark too.  
  
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, yeah but wait till you see her in action!  
  
Anne: And when will that be?  
  
Cassandra: Well, here's a recording and some stats of her session in the combat simulator. (hands Anne a small CD and a stack of papers)  
  
Anne: Wow! (reading the papers) This is. . .surreal! I mean, she's been up against 6 Darksim and she's only been "killed" 10 times in one hour?!  
  
Cassandra: Oh, sorry, I was eating a powdered donut. (scratches off the powder which was coincidentally in the shape of a small, printed 1) There you go.  
  
Anne: What?! That's even better than me!  
  
Cassandra: (eyes Anne) What do you mean "better than you?!"  
  
Anne: (looks down) Welllllll. . .This is going to be a long story. . .  
  
Cassandra: I've got time!  
  
~End Chapter 4  
  
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Well, that wasn't as good as I hoped but I was writing from the top of my head! If you ask me, that was more of a "brain fart" than a story. I made Cassandra a little too nice in this chapter but I guess every bitch has that PMS free side to her. Also, did any of you sense that small hint of jealousy coming from Anne? Hmmm, wonder what that's about. ^__~  
  
Next Time: Sassy quickly rises through the ranks and break records! Could she possibly be the "Joanna Dark of DataDyne"? Check out in Chapter 5! Please tell your friends about this story and keep reviewing! It motivates me to write better!  
  
MzCheex@yahoo.com 


	6. Intermission 2 & The Burgandy Carpet: Pa...

*2nd Intermission!!*  
  
Sorry I called an intermission after such a short chapter, but I just couldn't wait to write another Burgandy Carpet! It's so fun!  
  
Once gain, The Burgandy Carpet is a half-time show. That means if you don't read it, you're not missing anything. (snaps fingers) Oooooooookaaaaaaaaay?  
  
~Mz/Chx  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
The Burgandy Carpet: Part 2  
  
Mz/Chx: (shouts) No you didn't! You little bitch-ass. . .(jumps the rope and runs up and tackles Jonathan)  
  
Jonathan: (annoyed) Security, could you PLEASE remove this. . .crazed fan from my upside!  
  
Mz/Chx: (shouting as security's taking her back behind the velvet rope) CRAZED FAN?! Jonathan, the LAST thing I'd be is a crazed fan of yours! Do you have any idea what people write about you on fanfiction.net?!   
  
Jonathan: No, but I'm far too rich to care! Ha!   
  
Mz/Chx: OOOOH! (takes out a pocket recorder) Note To Self: Get Jonathan, and *good*. (looks back at the camera) Oooookay! We're gonna have to edit that part out!  
  
Cameraman: But, we're live!  
  
Mz/Chx: Oh. . .I am SO fired! (puts away tape recorder) Anyway, sorry about what you had to see there folks, but I MUST find my friggin' cartridge!  
  
Camerman: Uhhh, you said "cartridge"?  
  
Mz/Chx: Of course I said cart---. . .Don't tell me, YOU had the cartridge!!  
  
Camerman: I thought you said "partridge". (laughs) You know, someday, we'll look back on this and l-- (punched in the gut my Mz/Chx)  
  
Mz/Chx: I MUST get in that primiere and get that autograph!!   
  
(a DataDyne hovercar drops down onto the CI limo, smashing it)  
  
Mz/Chx: Oh great, it's the jake-ass DataDyne crew.  
  
(accompanied by two DataDyne guards (male) Cassandra De Vries makes her way down the carpet and every one is booing. She's wearing an antique-looking bright red ballroom dress with a matching umbrella)  
  
Cass Hater #1: Boooooooo!  
  
Cass Hater #2: What the fuck are you wearing?! You look like you're under the carpet! Boo!  
  
Cass Hater #3: Look at that old-ass bitch!!  
  
(the guards are snickering at the side comments)  
  
Mz/Chx: My GOD that's a poofy dress she's got on. (idea) Wait a minute. (takes out a Cloaking Device) I just realized I had this in here!  
  
Cameraman: Where in the hell'd you get that?  
  
Mz/Chx: (shifts eyes nervously) Um, details are unimportant. You'd better use the camSPY! (uses the cloaking device and sneaks under Cassandra's dress)  
  
Cassandra: Whoo! It's a little drafty out here.  
  
Mz/Chx: *whew! Cassie, what'd you have for dinner, BEANS?!* (sees some money on the floor) *Ooh! A quarter!*  
  
(Mz/Chx stupidly stops to pick up the quarter just when the cloaking devide runs short. The doors close behind Cassandra De Vries)  
  
Bouncer #1: Where do you think YOU'RE goin' lit'l goil?  
  
Mz/Chx: Um, in there?  
  
Bouncer #2: Sorry, do youse have a pass?  
  
Mz/Chx: (marvels at the fact that these highly-paid bouncers have such poor vocabulary skills) No but, (points to the sky) what the hell is that?  
  
Bouncers #1 & #2: Where? (look up at the sky)  
  
Mz/Chx: Work, damn you! (bangs furiously on the cloaking device until it makes her invisible again) Bingo! (walks through the doors) Suckers!  
  
Bouncer #2: There's nothin' in da sky! Hey, where'd she go?  
  
Bouncer #1: Maybe she turn't invisible and walked inside?  
  
(the bouncers look at each other)   
  
Bouncers #1 & #2: Nah. . .  
  
~End Part 2  
  
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Now THAT was better (but shorter)! I liked writing it! Actually, I don't think Cassandra would get booed if this story actually happened. And the bouncers are such dumbasses, it's funny! Please review! If I can get enuff, I'll post it as a sep'rate story!  
  
Next Time On TBC: I get in the building and cause a lot of trouble. Look forward to it!  
  
MzCheex@yahoo.com  
  
Oh, right. . .back to DataDyne Revived! 


	7. Chapter 5: Sassy's Success

Last Time On DDR: A Miss "Sassy Vixen" (a name that I pulled out of the air) is nearly OVER-qualified for the job but is hired anyway.   
  
Misc Notes: Yay! I've officially put that "Burgandy Carpet" story as a seperate. . .story. I made the third part of it so check that out too! I trick Jonathan into leaving and once again, encounter those stoopid bouncer-guards. Read it!  
  
~Mz/Chx  
  
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Chapter 5: Sassy's Success  
  
(A couple of weeks have passed since Sassy was hired (as well as other guards who'll die anyway) and. . .)  
  
(Sassy is in her "office" which is actually one of those rooms that you find guards in. She seems to be typing something on her computer)  
  
Sassy: (reading aloud) Dear mommy, I love my new job. I get to kill people and get paid for it! Life's a lot better outside the trailer park! :)   
  
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blaaaaaah. . .Love, Sassy. *send!*  
  
(an arrogant male guard and some buddies barge in on Sassy)  
  
Male Guard #1: Well, well, well, who do we have here?  
  
Male Guard #2: That must be "Sexy Sassy"!   
  
Male Guard #3: Yeah, the new girl. . .  
  
Sassy: Do you mind, I'm writing an important letter to my mother!!  
  
(the guards crowd around the desk)  
  
MG #1: (reading the letter) "Outside the trailer park?" What are ya, a fuckin' redneck?  
  
Sassy: Yeah, so?! (I do realize the irony that Cassandra dissmissed a redneck. . .Wait, she never hired her. . .oh never mind, keep reading!)  
  
MG #2: (scoots up on Sassy) Man, I'm lovin' those "tig-ol-bitties" ya got there.  
  
Sassy: Get the hell away from me!  
  
MG #3: (arm-locks Sassy) Hey, why don't you play a little "game" with us?  
  
Sassy: (kicks MG 3 in the nutz) !!  
  
MG #3: @#$%$$# &$%^$ *&&&^!!! (symbols incoherent swearing)  
  
MG #1: Don't get so pissed, baby! We just want a taste. (tries to smooch Sassy)  
  
Sassy: You can smooch the heel of my boot, asshole! (drop-kicks MG #1) You want some?!  
  
MG #2: Um, some head would be nice! (grins)  
  
Sassy: (drop-kicks MG #2) Christ! (walks upstairs to Cassandra's office and barges in)  
  
Cassandra: (startled) What the devil. . .?!  
  
Sassy: (sobbing) Ms. De Vries!! I'd like to report sexual harrassment within your company!!!  
  
Cassandra: Come here old girl. . .(Sassy cries on her shoulder) There, there. . .  
  
Anne: (who was off in the corner filing papers and muttering) Oh shut up, ya big baby. . .  
  
Cassandra: I hate to tell you this but I had them do that.  
  
Sassy: WHAT?! You sent those three morons down to try and rape me?!  
  
Cassandra: Oh, they were never gonna rape you. (laughs) I was just trying to test your nerves!  
  
Sassy: . . .  
  
Cassandra: I'm truly sorry but I had to do it, and you know why?  
  
Sassy: Why?  
  
Cassandra: A little bird told me that (seethes) JOANNA is going to invade the lab tonight.  
  
Sassy: Really? Joanna is going to invade the lab?  
  
Cassandra: (groans) Is there a fucking echo in here?! Yes, so I need you to suit up in this! (hands Sassy a DataDyne Female Captain uniform)  
  
::::Notes::::  
  
A short description of the DataDyne Female Captain Uniform. If you can't picture the actual outfit as shown in the PD64 game for comparison, then you might have a hard time visualizing this.  
  
The shoulder-pad things are silver-plated and the breasts are silver-plated as well. Instead of those plain button things on the shirt, there are buttons with the dataDyne logo on them. The boots have the logo on them and there are silver-plated forearm-band things. The pants are whiter and tighter and have thighpads. The collar is white and there's a belt for the pants with a DataDyne logo buckle. The boots have higher and pointier heels and have silver-plated toes. Ravishing!  
  
::::End Notes::::  
  
Sassy: (starry eyes) Is this for me?  
  
Anne: What? I know. . .I KNOW that's not the captain's uniform!!  
  
Sassy: Oh, Ms. De Vries I love it! I shall wear it with honor!  
  
Cassandra: (smiles) That's good.  
  
Anne: (mocks Sassy) "I shall wear it with honor--nyah!" Oh shut up!! And give me that! (snatches the uniform) You don't have the right to wear this!!!  
  
Sassy: Why, Anne? Why are you so. . .testy?  
  
Cassandra: She's just mad that you're wearing the uniform and she's not.  
  
Anne: Hmph!  
  
Sassy: But why?  
  
Cassandra: Because you're only the second person to wear this uniform.  
  
Anne: And guess who was the first?!  
  
~End Chapter 5  
  
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Another brain fart. I guess I was concentrating too much on writing the Burgandy Carpet. But hey! Writing about yourself doing stupid things and getting away with it is fun, no? And by the way, it's obvious that it's Anne, duh! Sorry to spoil the secret but it was bound to come across your mind anyway!   
  
MzCheex@yahoo.com 


	8. SemiIntermission and Linx

Hi everyone! It's me, Mz/Chx (duh!)!  
  
Sorry that you didn't find a story here but I have a life too ya know! What I mean is, I've been kind of busy AND I couldn't come up with a plot for DDR that'll connect with the last story.  
  
Why's there gotta be a story, anyway? Can't we just chat? Ho. . .hum. . .  
  
I have nothing to say so if you just came to fanfiction.net to read the next chapter of DDR. . .Oh well, but I've taken the liberty to include some links to some kick-ASS sites, okay?  
  
~Miss Cheex  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * * * * * I love it! * * * * I like it! * * * It's okay * * Sort of okay * Make it your last resort  
  
::bored.com:: * * * * * When you're. . .bored! This site includes links to some of the most interesting sites on the internet! Really!  
  
::tshirthell.com:: * * * * * Where else could you find shirts with sayings like "Shittles, taste the asshole" and wrapping paper that says "happy fucking whatever"? If you do know, tell me but otherwise, this is the only place.  
  
::teenfreeway.com:: * * * * What's the best thing about getting packages in the mail? Not having to pay for it! Here, you'll find food, cosmetic, magazine, electronic, and other FREEBIES! Note: Not EVERY SINGLE thing is free, sometimes you have to pay shipping, or enter a contest. Also check out freebiecat.com.  
  
::playMASH.com::* * * Like the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Streets, House)? Well here you can play a virtual version. Actually, pretty okay.  
  
::rotten.com:: * * * * Do you have a strong stomach? Then find lots of gruesome images like what happens when a hand goes through a meat grinder. YECH! Warning: There is a little bit of (porn) here.  
  
::reflexgame.com:: * * Have great reflexes? Well here, you press a button, then press the stop button when the background changes! BTW, my best time is .183 or something like that.  
  
::azlyrics.com:: * * * * * Are you the only one at the concert who's mumbling all the words to the song because you don't know them? Well find almost every artist from A-Z here! For the more "urban" version, go to ohhla.com (Original Hip Hop Lyrics Archive)  
  
Um. . .  
  
::atomfilms.com:: * * * * Ever heard the "redneck rapper"? Or, how about Michael Jackson's lost interview? See lots of funny animations, here!  
  
::Neopets.com:: * * * * * The toys are crappy but the site is not. If you have LOTS of free time, check this out! By the way, it's FREE! And, when you sign up, you might want to "lie" about your age. Some people say it's confusing but it's not after a week or so. . .  
  
::oliverbot.com:: * * No friends to chat with? Well, I can't really describe it but go here.  
  
::guessthename.com:: * * * * Are you EXTREMELY bored? Then go here! Think of a TV show or movie and the computer will try to guess it by answering yes-or-no questions! For best results, be honest and don't get mad when the computer guesses what you're thinking!  
  
::mysticalball.com:: * * * A mind reading computer? Better believe it! You hafta think of a number, do some other math and match the final number with the symbol on the screen. Click on the glowy ball, and be amazed!  
  
::thespark.com:: * * * * * The BEST quiz-taking site you could ever come across! Take the bitch, bastard, death, gay, best friend tests and more! Very very fun and funny. If you need some last-minute lessons in school, check out the sister site, sparknotes.com.  
  
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Well, that's it! Maybe some other time, eh?  
  
MzCheex@yahoo.com 


End file.
